"I hear a lot of people say that fear of death and the fear of public speaking are two of the main fears in my generation, but I disagree. I think its the fear of silence. We refuse to turn off our computers, to turn off our phones, to log out of Facebook and just sit in silence because in those moments we might actually have to face up to who we really are. We fear silence like it is an invisible monster, gnawing at us, ripping us open and showing us our dissatisfaction. Silence is terrifying."
-Jefferson Bethke
Wow.
Like wow.
I think that quote pretty much sums up the world as I know it. I mean as I type this, I've already checked Facebook, responded to a few texts and snapchats, all the while blaring my latest Spotify playlist with Gilmore Girls in the background.
That quote has legit sent my head into a tailspin. I mean I hate the silence. It's kind of awkward and weird. Things being quiet. Me being quiet. My head definitely not being quiet when everything else is. How funky right?
How crazy that in the world we live in, most things work in an instant gratification kind of way. You see a picture on Instagram, you like it, the person who posted the picture gets notified and BAM! 3 seconds.
The world is at our fingertips yet the unhappiness level is off the charts. Depression. Anxiety. Words that for years were hardly mentioned (*the stigma on mental health is a different topic for a different day*) yet now those words are so commonplace.
Take pictures for example, LITERALLY NOTHING LOOKS LIKE IT ACTUALLY DOES IN ACTUAL REAL LIFE. HOW CRAZY IS THAT?!?!?!?! Heck, I'm just as guilty as the next person of slapping the Lo-fi Instagram filter on just about everything. Because that beautiful waterfall I drove two hours to hike to because I saw what a great picture it made when I was stalking Instagram just doesn't look pretty enough in real life. We don't even know what it means to by real and authentic and in the moment. Our culture is all about making something appear better than it is for the benefit of other people, most of whom should not be important in our lives.
You want to know why we're scared of silence? Because when the noise goes away we have time to look and see how unsatisfied we are with our lives in this culture of comparison. Because when we realize how dissatisfied we are with our instant gratification life that looks perfect from the outside, well then other people might see that too and well that might just be the end of the world. The only way to see how much power something has over you is to take it away. What would happen if we took away the noise? Embraced the silence? If we faced our dissatisfaction head on and, I don't know, maybe did something about it LOL.
I think deep down, a good amount of people realize they're lives will never be perfect. But that doesn't stop us from thinking other people's lives are perfect and wanting our lives to APPEAR perfect. We do all the "fun" things and go to all the "right" places and try our best to be in social circles with the "right" people (*pics or it didn't happen?*) all so it looks like everything is peachy keen.
Just because our lives can never be perfect, doesn't mean we have to accept the status quo and stay in the same crummy job or in the same crummy relationship or be friends with the same crummy person. No we have to move on to bigger and better things.
But the thing is, the things we value and treasure most, the things and relationships that bring us joy and fulfillment, the things we want work in a VERY delayed gratification kind of way.
Sort of like a glacier. Glacier's are not formed overnight. It takes years and years and decades and decades and centuries and centuries. Aka not instantly. Our culture doesn't even know how to think glacially anymore. It's a completely foreign concept.
A new friendship, a new boyfriend, a renewed relationship with a family member. None of that happens overnight. But we want it to so bad. So much so, that when it doesn't happen overnight, we get frustrated and bored and settle for whatever we have.
Well it's time for our generation to wake up. We can't sit around all day and complain about the superficiality without providing some depth. We can't complain about the status quo without bringing in some change. We can't complain about loneliness without actually trying to have some authentic relationships.
So embrace the silence peeps. You'd be surprised what you can figure out about yourself.
